Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. I tried but I always lost the connection when I clicked Publish, ==

Anyways... I'm feeling pretty down and I don't feel like talking to anyone. Someone just left our world. Grandmother of a very close friend of mine. For privacy purposes I won't mention her name. (Note to that person: If you're not happy about me mentioning this, tell me, and I'll take this entry down.) Even though I didn't know her grandmother, but I still feel sad because I know her and I know her family. We've been through our ups and downs but when it all comes down, I really do love her. I know they're all really sad now and I hope that the Lord God will bring comfort to them.

She's so sweet. She actually cries. I've never cried when someone I know pass away. I dunno why. I didn't cry when my dad's mom passed. And I didn't cry when my mom's mom passed. I didn't cry when my mom's best friend passed either. I guess its because I never really knew them. My mom's friend was always nice to me, but he never really talked to me. My dad's mom passed when I was really young. I don't think I cried. I don't remember crying anyways. And my mom's mom barely said anything to me. Kinda wonder if that makes me like...kinda heartless? I feel bad for not crying, but I just... don't feel sad.

Even now, I'm not sad about her grandma dying, its more of the people she left behind. I mean, one of those people is my friend. I remember about the time I read about the NIU shooting. One of the victims really touched me. I still remember his name. Daniel Parmenter. He's been gone about 4 months now. I was so sad. I actually cried. He was 20! That is darn short okay? He had his entire life ahead of him. It was Valentine's Day. And I bet he and his GF had plans. And everything just, GONE. Doesn't that make you wanna cry?

Sigh... I don't get myself sometimes... At first it was just sympathy, then I got a bit emo, now I'm just sad. For the people her grandma left behind, and for the people Daniel left behind.

Worst part is, I don't know who to go to now. I don't know who I can talk to. God? Yeah, I've done that. But still... a person would be nice.

Anyways, just, bye.

~Angel~